This post is part of The Beauty of a Woman BlogFest VII! To read more entries, and potentially win a fun prize, visit the fest page (link this to http://www.augustmclaughlin.com/beauty-woman-blogfest-vii/) on August’s McLaughlin’s site between today and 11pm PST March 9th.
All of us women have been there, right? You're really pissed off, totally steaming mad at a guy—maybe it isn't always a guy, but in my life, it was always a guy—and he says with a smile "You're so cute when you're mad!"
Well, let me tell you something, "ladies," we may well be cute when we're mad, but that doesn't take anything away from our personal and collective power. And I think that a lot of the men out there that thought "how cute is that?" when we got ticked off one at a time, are beginning to look around at the world (and the media) and see a lot of extremely angry women, which might make them wonder why they ever thought it was cute!
Personally, I think justifiably angry women are beautiful, because I think real emotion and personal power are both beautiful, and sometimes angry is precisely what is happening. There are a lot of women out there who have put up and shut up for years, and right now they are all saying "time's up!" No longer will I accept being treated as a sexual object without feelings and emotions and a mind. No longer will I sit back at work and watch other people get ahead of me undeservedly. No longer will I tolerate being treated as a worker-robot, an interchangeable automaton without a brain.
Time is up for all of that!
I was recently at the second annual Women's March here in San Diego, and it was there, surrounded by women (and men) of all ages, races, shapes, and sizes that I realized how beautiful the emotion was that had brought us there. And, make no mistake, as happy as we were to be there together that day, we'd all been brought there by one basic emotion—we were mad as hell and we were not going to take it anymore!
I was there with my niece (proud to call herself a "Nasty Woman"), her mom, and about 30,000 other inspired, dedicated, hard-working women. Some of us were dressed in pink and many were holding signs that spelled out just how fed up we were—done with misogyny, racism, sexism, and every other kind of intolerance. (Sure, some of that anger was directed at a particular man who currently holds a powerful office, but we all know that he's not the real problem, he's just a very ugly symptom of the systemic problem).
We marched and we chanted. We were united, we were one, we were energized, and we were all beautifully determined to keep up the fight.
To that end we will keep marching, keep speaking out (#metoo #timesup), and work to instigate change by running for office, by volunteering to help put worthy people into government, and by taking to the polls by the millions come November.
And that is something I find incredibly beautiful.
Great idea for a post, Jenny! There are so many barriers and stigmas around women's emotions. And it affects our country racially too. We tend to police emotions by black women much more than we do for white women. We have a lot of antiquated "leftovers" about how to act when we feel an injustice has been made. I love your ideas for how to get involved and be a gamechanger woman!ReplyDelete
And thank you also for donating your generous prize in the blogfest!!
That is so true. Time to evolve! Thanks for commenting.Delete
Can I say, "hell, yeah!" in response? Our collective power as women can be scary to those who have held power for so long. The time for belittling women's emotions and anger is over.ReplyDelete
Hell yeah! Once again, it is time for us to evolve as humans. Next stop equality for all!Delete
Thank you for this post, Jenny!! As a woman with a bit of a temper, I've been scaring the bejesus out of men, singularly and collectively, for decades. Personally I've never gotten that line, because I'm not all that cute when I'm angry (ask my husband...lol). I also spent a couple of those decades as a counselor helping women get in touch with their anger and learn how to channel it effectively.ReplyDelete
I am so thrilled that as a group we are really standing up for ourselves like never before!
Absolutely. Being surrounded by like minds, and those who support and challenge us, helps in every phase of life.Delete
Julie Garwood, in one of her old romance novels, The Secret, said something that resonated with me...”One whisper, added to a thousand others, becomes a roar of discontent.”ReplyDelete
Also, it was Eleanor of Aquitaine’s anger that almost lost Henry II his crown. One should never underestimate the power of an angry woman.
I love Eleanor! So true...hear us roar!Delete
Oh, I love this! You've reminded me of one of my favorite quotes of all time, from Gloria Steinem: "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off." There is SO MUCH beauty in that anger, that work and that residual freedom.ReplyDelete
Thanks so much for the awesome contribution to the fest, Jennifer!
I love that quote! Thanks for sharing and thanks for BOAW!Delete
OMG... you just quoted one of the sentences I hated most of many sentences on Earth: "You're so cute when you're mad." Last time I heard that I thought I had spit fire. (It might have been an illusion, but at this point I won't take anything for granted). I love your post and the basic beauty you built it on.ReplyDelete
I knew someone was going to REALLY relate to that line. You're so right... Let's rock this boat, girls!Delete
Jenny, I love this post so much! It's about time that women's anger wasn't belittled or framed as cute and then ignored. I love that your niece marched, too. I'm trying to teach my daughters that they can stand up for themselves and express their emotions. And if someone wants to call them "cute" for that, then they have a right to call them out on it.ReplyDelete
Exactly -- call them out and then maybe say cute THIS (with the appropriate gesture)!Delete
You are sooo Spot On with this Jenny! I, myself, disliked being told this by men. That has almost always made me feel like the man was attempting to diminish my power by saying that ... resulting in my standing up even stronger. YES ... #TimesUp, #MeToo, #EnoughIsEnough -- our rally cry, our voices, and our power!ReplyDelete
And I think that is what is intended "aren't you cute" is like saying "you are a little baby" or something. Ugh.Delete
I'm so glad you addressed this! I think "you're so cute when you're mad" is one of the most atrocious sayings of all time and we've all been there before! The line about Trump not being the real problem really hit me because you're absolutely right. I love to sit around and trash talk Trump as much as the next person but at the end of the day he's just a symptom of the system. He's not the only person who thinks, feels and behaves that way. Apparently there are quite a few. Which is why our collective anger is more important and beautiful now than ever :)ReplyDelete
Right on, Erica! Loving people united will overcome hate and division!Delete
Loved your post! I have faced the hostile situations at work because of this symptom. This mentality needs to change and it's high time. Standing up to that is indeed beautiful.ReplyDelete
Glad we're in this "good fight" together!Delete
I would just like to add that not only is Jenny's original piece magnificent, but ALL of the comments from everyone are so inspiring and rewarding! A beautiful day to all!ReplyDelete
Aren't they fabulous? I'm so happy!Delete
So. Much. This.ReplyDelete
I've gotten the cute comment (I am kind of cute, but, as I'm sure you can believe, there's nothing at ALL cute about the way I feel when I'm seething!).
My late husband was a wonderful guy, but, well into the second decade of our marriage, he still persisted in calling me "crazy lady" when disagreements got heated - despite the fact that there came a point where I had learned to quell the fury of my anger where he hadn't.
At some point, I had enough of that, and told him I was no longer willing to accept that, because:
a) I wasn't crazy, I was angry, and there was a reason for my anger I wanted to address;
b) It's disrespectful and dismissive; and
c) There is no real commeasurate male equivalent. Maybe "madman" - but it doesn't have nearly the same dismissive punch.
Once I explained that a time or two, he stopped - and it made the last years of our marriage the best ones.
Angry women aren't cute. We're mad. As you said, mad as hell - and we wouldn't be, if we were being treated with fairness.
I just saw this post--somehow I missed it in March, then was on posting a new blog post...Anyway, right on for you! I definitely agree that it is dismissive and disrespectful and glad to hear that you took charge of that situation. Keep fighting the good fight!Delete